Saturday, November 29
How Accurate?
| The Big Five Personality Test |
| Extroverted | |||||||||||||| | 56% |
| Introverted | |||||||||||| | 44% |
| Friendly | |||||||||||||||| | 70% |
| Aggressive | |||||| | 30% |
| Orderly | |||||||||||| | 46% |
| Disorderly | |||||||||||||| | 54% |
| Relaxed | |||||||||||||| | 56% |
| Emotional | |||||||||||| | 44% |
| Openminded | |||||||||||||||||| | 74% |
| Closeminded | |||||| | 26% |
Tuesday, November 18
It's because I chose water & milk
You will swallow some tacks. You are a little
weird, maybe not so much in a good way. Buy a
yellow tie and wear it on your head.
What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, November 7
Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon
You are Galadriel's Mirrorball. A gift to her from
Sauron in the days when he masked his evil, you
wreak havoc among the weak-minded. The elven
queen herself has been seen sneaking away to
her secret glade to dance the night away to
wicked music. You may be the downfall of
Middle-Earth.
Which completely non-existent Lord of the Rings object are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, October 19
I'm undead!
You are Form 9,
Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on the
blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow
life from the dead. But as she was about to give
the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame
of The Phoenix and the cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades
(Greek) and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept
of death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very
realistic individual. You may be a little
idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to
earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but
you savor every minute of the good times.
While you may sometimes find yourself lonely,
you have strong ties with people that will never
be broken. Vampires are the best friends to
have because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by
Quizilla
You are Form 9,
Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on the
blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow
life from the dead. But as she was about to give
the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame
of The Phoenix and the cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades
(Greek) and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept
of death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very
realistic individual. You may be a little
idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to
earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but
you savor every minute of the good times.
While you may sometimes find yourself lonely,
you have strong ties with people that will never
be broken. Vampires are the best friends to
have because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by
Quizilla
Thursday, September 25
It's A Cheesy Beatles Reference:
I wrote a crazy note. This is what it said:
"Everyone tells me I'm a LOSER LOSER LOSER I'm not like you and I hope I never am. My best is never good enough, so I give up. "
It says 'black bird' all over it in random places. It actually started as a doodle, but I pretty well mean it. I've had a bad day. I got a lecture from my brother about how I'm a loser. I told my Mum (who has been out of town and seems unhappy to be back) about what he had said. She didn't look at me. And she didn't disagree. I can reassure myself to a degree, but today was not the day. I was thinking about things that hurt, things that I live my life secretly trying to forget.
I don't want you thinking I dwell excessively, I don't. I spent over 14 years ignoring completely the things that had gone on. I forced the late at night thoughts from my mind. I prayed. Or cried. Or made up a voice in my mind. I had nightmares. I had fits of
rage. I tried seriously to make it stop. And always the serious efforts were foiled by a sibling, if only for a lock on my door...
For a good while I hated her. I still do sometimes, but whether it's my Mother, or how much of her I see in myself I don't know. She hated me back. She sent me away, and I was glad for it. She never touched me again. If ever I've discussed it in these four years since what was done was finally allowed for me to admit, it's been from a stoic front. I'm strong. I don't cry. It's the past. It doesn't matter. All is forgiven. That's a lie.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm waiting for her to let go.
Sometimes there is nothing between us.
I'm sad. I'm pretty sure I'm not being dramatic. I don't like being dramatic for show. Now, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of falling short every single time. I'm tired of knowing that behind every displayed Motherly affection is that glaring, oppressive eye, judging. Every possible mis-step of my life can be recited, chronologically, alphabetically, by frequency. I'm only 20. I've been better than most girls (and boys) my age. But no, I'm not in a fabulous school, and I'm not especially good at much of
anything. She wanted me to have a talent. I don't. I wanted her to love me, but she wont. She sees all her failings and every disadvantage dealt to her every single time she looks at me. Do you know what it's like to be looked at with that? Regret. Pity.
Obligation. I've got my a.h.c. certificate. That's what I want to do, at least for a while. I want to go, and never come back, but for awkward holidays every other year, then one day never again.
I want to be with the person who I (think) I know has faith in me. The person who won't care that I don't cheer-lead, work charities, excel at everything that I might try to do. I want to be somewhere, where it's good enough that I tried.
Not too get too teenage melancholy (as if I haven't already) but I feel like if I wait, my moment won't arrive.
"Everyone tells me I'm a LOSER LOSER LOSER I'm not like you and I hope I never am. My best is never good enough, so I give up. "
It says 'black bird' all over it in random places. It actually started as a doodle, but I pretty well mean it. I've had a bad day. I got a lecture from my brother about how I'm a loser. I told my Mum (who has been out of town and seems unhappy to be back) about what he had said. She didn't look at me. And she didn't disagree. I can reassure myself to a degree, but today was not the day. I was thinking about things that hurt, things that I live my life secretly trying to forget.
I don't want you thinking I dwell excessively, I don't. I spent over 14 years ignoring completely the things that had gone on. I forced the late at night thoughts from my mind. I prayed. Or cried. Or made up a voice in my mind. I had nightmares. I had fits of
rage. I tried seriously to make it stop. And always the serious efforts were foiled by a sibling, if only for a lock on my door...
For a good while I hated her. I still do sometimes, but whether it's my Mother, or how much of her I see in myself I don't know. She hated me back. She sent me away, and I was glad for it. She never touched me again. If ever I've discussed it in these four years since what was done was finally allowed for me to admit, it's been from a stoic front. I'm strong. I don't cry. It's the past. It doesn't matter. All is forgiven. That's a lie.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm waiting for her to let go.
Sometimes there is nothing between us.
I'm sad. I'm pretty sure I'm not being dramatic. I don't like being dramatic for show. Now, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of falling short every single time. I'm tired of knowing that behind every displayed Motherly affection is that glaring, oppressive eye, judging. Every possible mis-step of my life can be recited, chronologically, alphabetically, by frequency. I'm only 20. I've been better than most girls (and boys) my age. But no, I'm not in a fabulous school, and I'm not especially good at much of
anything. She wanted me to have a talent. I don't. I wanted her to love me, but she wont. She sees all her failings and every disadvantage dealt to her every single time she looks at me. Do you know what it's like to be looked at with that? Regret. Pity.
Obligation. I've got my a.h.c. certificate. That's what I want to do, at least for a while. I want to go, and never come back, but for awkward holidays every other year, then one day never again.
I want to be with the person who I (think) I know has faith in me. The person who won't care that I don't cheer-lead, work charities, excel at everything that I might try to do. I want to be somewhere, where it's good enough that I tried.
Not too get too teenage melancholy (as if I haven't already) but I feel like if I wait, my moment won't arrive.
Saturday, September 20
Friday, September 12
Andre is hot and so is the new video!
The Knacks are on MTV, ma-ma-ma-my Sharona...
Things are really good, finally everything is coming
together for me. I'm finally going to England, I won't
be able to believe it until I'm actually packed and on
my way though. *L* It makes me feel like a "grown-up,"
which is silly since (supposedly) I am. Rachel Hunter
is hot, I'd hate it if she was my Mum and I still
looked like me. Oh My God! Queen! Fat Bottom Girls!
*L* There is no song that could be better than this,
that anthem about ass as loved by a gay man! *L* I
love this song, mostly for the comedic value, and it's
a good up-beat kind of song. Seriously, can you
imagine some fleshy slightly flabby chick riding him?
I know I can't, and yet, he sings it with such
conviction... That's entertainment.
Now I'm completely off track. I initially wanted to
write an entry about how very hot Chris Cornell is. I
never fully appreciated his hunkiness as I should
have. Perhaps that could be explained by my calling
him "That Jesus Guy" when I was much younger. (Did I
just say hunkiness? blarg.) Anyway, I just saw Chris
(and all that is known as "AudioSlave") in their
latest video, and it gave me a whole new appreciation
for the song. We all know the man can sing, seriously
sing, so I wont even talk about his talent, I just
want to note that it isn't all about the nub, though
it aught to be, at least in this case.
I mean it, this video had me sounding like a chubby
old frat boy at a bar, saying things to myself like,
"Is this desert hot and dirty, or is it just You?" to
the Chris Cornell's sweet sweet nubs.
*fantasizing* .........
Well, now I can't comment on Jessica Simpson, as it
would ruin my 'high.' Music mentions: It was either
Daniel or Doughnut, but someone mentioned an English
band that I would love called, "The Darkness." Lo,
what's this I hear on KROQ as catch of the day? Metal,
revival, better, different? Why yes, it's "The
Darkness" and they drop their tunes hard and full of
the 'f' bomb, which is exactly how I like it.
I love the latest single from "OutKast" but then I
love most of their songs. YellowCard: I keep seeing
these 16 year old dudes wearing their YellowCard
shirts and I laugh. I remember seeing them live once,
and they were pretty good (I thought) but I got the
impression that allot of people thought they were a
bit second rate, now here they are rockin on MTV. It's
good, I'm glad for them, now if only Nerf Herder,
Psoma, Upsyndrome or Ozma got that kind of play. I'm
tired of the crappy punk/pop already. ;)
Question: Why is it that Avril Lavigne is a joke, and
yet Kelly Osbourne is legit despite hangin with her
and lookin chummy?
Things are really good, finally everything is coming
together for me. I'm finally going to England, I won't
be able to believe it until I'm actually packed and on
my way though. *L* It makes me feel like a "grown-up,"
which is silly since (supposedly) I am. Rachel Hunter
is hot, I'd hate it if she was my Mum and I still
looked like me. Oh My God! Queen! Fat Bottom Girls!
*L* There is no song that could be better than this,
that anthem about ass as loved by a gay man! *L* I
love this song, mostly for the comedic value, and it's
a good up-beat kind of song. Seriously, can you
imagine some fleshy slightly flabby chick riding him?
I know I can't, and yet, he sings it with such
conviction... That's entertainment.
Now I'm completely off track. I initially wanted to
write an entry about how very hot Chris Cornell is. I
never fully appreciated his hunkiness as I should
have. Perhaps that could be explained by my calling
him "That Jesus Guy" when I was much younger. (Did I
just say hunkiness? blarg.) Anyway, I just saw Chris
(and all that is known as "AudioSlave") in their
latest video, and it gave me a whole new appreciation
for the song. We all know the man can sing, seriously
sing, so I wont even talk about his talent, I just
want to note that it isn't all about the nub, though
it aught to be, at least in this case.
I mean it, this video had me sounding like a chubby
old frat boy at a bar, saying things to myself like,
"Is this desert hot and dirty, or is it just You?" to
the Chris Cornell's sweet sweet nubs.
*fantasizing* .........
Well, now I can't comment on Jessica Simpson, as it
would ruin my 'high.' Music mentions: It was either
Daniel or Doughnut, but someone mentioned an English
band that I would love called, "The Darkness." Lo,
what's this I hear on KROQ as catch of the day? Metal,
revival, better, different? Why yes, it's "The
Darkness" and they drop their tunes hard and full of
the 'f' bomb, which is exactly how I like it.
I love the latest single from "OutKast" but then I
love most of their songs. YellowCard: I keep seeing
these 16 year old dudes wearing their YellowCard
shirts and I laugh. I remember seeing them live once,
and they were pretty good (I thought) but I got the
impression that allot of people thought they were a
bit second rate, now here they are rockin on MTV. It's
good, I'm glad for them, now if only Nerf Herder,
Psoma, Upsyndrome or Ozma got that kind of play. I'm
tired of the crappy punk/pop already. ;)
Question: Why is it that Avril Lavigne is a joke, and
yet Kelly Osbourne is legit despite hangin with her
and lookin chummy?
